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Yesterday I tweeted an article by the ever wonderful awful Samantha Brick talking about how she feels that in order to be self respected, successful and attractive you have to be thin. I was absolutely disgusted reading it and I'm quite sure that Samantha Brick isn't actually real at all, that this persona is made up and she's doing it all for the publicity (which doesn't make it right), but how can someone be that vile? Any way, that's another story entirely - what I actually want to write about is the fact that people think I can't have an opinion about this because 'I'm skinny', because obviously - my body makes my opinions redudant. Writing that makes my eyes water and my nose sting but more than anything I'm angry and want to talk about why that, isn't okay.
Firstly 'skinny' is the most horrible word. I am not skinny - but yes I am slim, I can consume a fair amount of food without gaining weight, but I am also human. My entire family are of a small build, so I suppose that makes me lucky right? No it doesn't. At primary school through to college I was bullied for being anorexic, bulimic (I wasn't) and 'disgustingly' thin. To say I wasn't 'in with the crowd' would be an understatement. I was what they called a late bloomer and I didn't start my period until I was 15, meaning that I didn't have anything to show in the chest department for my entire school life, my metabolism was also so high that I didn't have much joy in keeping any weight on me either, I was 6 stone until I was 17. Now to be ridiculed and alienated when you so desperately want to be different and cant is something incredibly hard to deal with. Please don't let your jaw drop to the floor and say 'how gross to be that tiny, eat some food.' I eat, I eat a lot and regularly.
Now I'm older I've 'shot' up to an A cup and managed to squeeze a tiny pair of hips out of my puberty (YAY) and many wouldn't believe how awfully self conscious I am of my body. I didn't take my bra off for my boyfriend for the first 6 months of our relationship (what a saint he is) and he's the only person in the world who has seen my boobs (that makes me feel so awkward to write down, eww). I struggle with my body image everyday and unless age slows my metabolism down that will continue.
I don't want people to read this and think this is me attention seeking. I know that I am not the only girl out there that feels this way and I really do feel that it should be talked about more. Because I find it SO bizarre that this society believes it's okay to ask someone who is smaller why they are that way or tell them that because they are slim they can't have an opinion about weight. I mean I can't believe for a second that the majority of the public would go up to a bigger person and ask them why are they overweight, or query them if they had something to say about someone else who was overweight - it's just ridiculous!!
All I want this post to say is that it shouldn't matter whether you are small, tall, big or slim - your opinions still matter and you are entitled to have feelings regardless of how much you weigh. Being 'skinny' doesn't mean that you are happy with the way you look or comfortable in your own skin. Remember some people, like me, struggle to put weight on - and others struggle to lose it, we're all in the same boat to a certain degree.
Don't ever think that because someone looks your idea of perfect that that is what they are or feel. I'm sure, that 9/10 they feel insecure just like you do. And what is perfect any way?
This is such an important subject I'm so glad you've had the guys to write about it! I'm getting really sick of all the 'skinny' hate, especially as if it was the other way around there would be outrage!
ReplyGreat post lovely
xx
http://sarah-nunn.blogspot.co.uk
Thank you Sarah. Skinny hate - I like it :) (not the hate, the term haha). You're completely right, people can be very insensitive. xxx
Had to read this post straight away. I've had it from both sides. I didn't start my periods until I was 19. 19!! I had no boobs until I was about 21. I swam competitively when I was younger so that didn't help the boy shape I had. Now I'm in my late twenties and have curves I'm still not happy. So for someone to say 'you don't have an opinion because you're thin, therefore you must be happy' is ignorant and totally insensitive!
ReplyI hope you can take these comments on the chin (I'm sure you can), but I am really glad you posted this!
Jen | sunny sweet pea xx
Jen, thank you for reading, and for your comment! I can imagine that was very difficult, but good on you for swimming and sticking to something you loved. I used to do Ballet and gave it up because I was bullied, so I admire you for that!
I've been taking them on the chin all my life so far - I'm sure I can absorb another one or two :)
Thanks again, xxx
I read that article yesterday and the further I got down the page the more I wanted to just close it. What a load of garbage! Online things like that are the reason why so many people struggle with weight issues.
ReplyIt's shocking to think some people think that because you're slim you have no right to an opinion. As I said in a tweet, whether you're big, small, tall or short everyone is entitled to an opinion on a topic.
There is a story behind everyone I believe, it's unfair to judge from the outside look alone.
Great Post Meg and I hope you're feeling better now.
Amy xx
A Little Boat Sailing
Thank you Amy, she really is disgusting and I hope the Daily Mail soon see she is doing damage, as well as filling their pockets! xx
I absolutely understand everything you have written down. I am 12, and yes my growth spurt has yet to come, but I am small like you! My whole family is, and nobody understands! When I was at my last school, the dinner ladies used to watch over me just because I was thin. I would eat more than most, but they would never understand what was the real reason. GENETICS. I've also been called anorexic before, even behind my back, and it really does hurt. I think people need to understand that we are who we are, because we made like it? Obviously some of us eat way more than we should do, and some way less, but as long as you know the real reason to why you are your size that is what matters.
ReplyReally great post, and it makes me feel good that other people have gone/going through the same thing :-) xxx Tolly xxx
Hi Tolly, thank you for your comment :) I'm glad you can find a little comfort in this post - I wish I had had that when I was your age. Just continue with the attitude you currently have and you will be fine, they'll be the ones regretting it in the long run. Just look at how amazing and successful you already are at 12! It's crazy, and I truly admire you xxx