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And then there was a sadness in her heart that couldn't be lifted.
A weight so heavy that the pressure of it pushing down made her bones ache. A weight so crushingly suffocating even a silver lining couldn't soften it.
And then there was the realisation.
This was what it felt to be heartbroken.
Heartache.
It's a bizarre feeling. To be aware of your feelings and what's causing them, but have absolutely no definitive answer as to why you feel numb, nothing and then absolutely everything so horribly intensely all at once. Of course, heartbreak is what it says on the tin: a love so great that doesn't go to plan. But no one can ever prepare you for the feeling.
I suppose we all feel it differently - who is to say what heartache actually is.
All I know is that the world goes on, but that even in that truth you couldn't care less. Who needs to know that everything will be alright in the end when you thought what you had would last forever?
Words of comfort don't help but are expected, received and filed away for when you can look back and appreciate them.
A constant and overwhelming nausea of everything you ever experienced coming to an end consumes you - to start a new beginning, to begin again.
And I think that's what it means, to truly have loved - knowing that no matter the cards you were dealt, no matter the hurt, you will always love them and you will always hold a piece of them. In a good, peaceful way.
I've learned, lately, that writing things down help me and that sometimes, somehow it helps other people too.
I know we'll be fine. We'll carry on and life will be wonderful. But for now, I am sad and confused and angry and all the other emotions x100. That's okay, though.
'Tis better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all. - Alfred, Lord Tennyson.
Oh Meg <3
ReplyThere's no other feeling like it. The worst is waiting for time to pass and for it to heal!
ReplyBut everyone always comes out the other side braver and stronger. Hope you're ok x
We aren't machines, and each one of us is different, but as cheesy as it sounds time does heal, and whilst you don't forget that pain of heartache, you learn and move on.
Replyx
Sending you the best wishes and the biggest hug. I've been dealing with some difficult things lately and found blogging really helped to keep me busy. Everyone keeps telling me that with time it'll get easier, but it's difficult and I suppose what I'm trying to come to terms with is different to heartache in the sense of a break up or losing trust in a friend, because I can't do anything to bring them back. You just need to surround yourself with good people who will be there for you, whether that's talking about it, taking your mind off it by doing things, or even just knowing there's someone if you need a hug.
ReplyStay strong you beautiful woman xxxx
www.hello-freckles.com
Oh no, i'm so sorry Meg. Heartbreak really is the worst but it will just make you a stronger person and you're so beautiful anyway, things will work out :)
ReplySophie x
Just leaving a little love xxxx
ReplyHeartbreak is the worst feeling, but you have captured it in words perfectly. You've described it like I know I'll never be able to x
Replyholljc.blogspot.co.uk
xxxxxxx
ReplyGemma
Faded Windmills
Love you <3
ReplyIt's truly a horrible feeling but it does make you a stronger person, hope your ok and sending you hugs.
ReplyDiana xx
I'm sorry Meg. Sending you all of my love. I've been there and it's horrible. You just need to trust that it DOES get better with time which sounds like the most unimagineable trite. I remember thinking that I KNEW that was the case, but it didn't make it any better at the time. You just need to ride it out, I guess. I know you'll feel better soon, I'm sure you know that too, even though it doesn't help right now. xx
ReplyI am so sorry Hun, heartache is truly the worst pain I have ever experienced, at least with physical pain there is paracetamol! Treat yourself kindly and take your time getting over them. It is true that with a big love a little piece of your heart will always be with them and no doubt vice versa xxx
ReplyOh Megan. You’re the second person i’ve seen in this situation today. It will get easier, I promise! Surround yourself with things you enjoy, scoff your face, cry as much as you want but remember, it won’t last forever xxxx
ReplyMy gorgeous daughter is also suffering this at the moment and as such so am I. I wish I could take her hurt away, I wish I could wrap her in cotton wool so she never gets hurt again. I wish that I wasn't so helpless. Hope you are ok xxx
ReplyMy boyfriend broke up with me rather suddenly three weeks ago and I can sympathise entirely with how you feel. I go through phases of not eating and crying to eating everything within reach and over compensating in my work and distracting myself. Heartbreak is exhausting, I know it'll pass soon but I want it to pass now! I know they sounds tacky but the Men Are From Mars Women Are From Venus books are great especially the one called 'Starting Over' it's really helped me focus my mind recently. I am sending you lots and lots of love
Replyxxx
Nina from little nomad
Aw Meg! I haven't commented on blogs for so long but after reading this I felt I had to! I am so sorry you're feeling this way and I know all too well what you're going through! At the moment I feel so lost and confused and I don't know what I'm going to do with myself! I'm losing a massive part of my life and I don't feel like life is going to get better! Massive hugs from you! I hope we get through it soon! xxx
ReplyThis is really sad Meg, I do hope you are ok. Things can only get better I'm sure just give them time, sending hugs xo
ReplySending love Meg. I read a book once that says until you properly have your heart broken you can never anticipate what a physical feeling it is - like a kick in the stomach, or a constant dull ache - I have been there and it is so true. I know it hurts so much, and as Becky said above, even though it feels impossible at the time, it will feel better. Sending hugs, PJs, ice cream, tea and love. xo
ReplyOh Meg I hope you are ok, I am sending you my love. Your words are so true, as are that of Tennyson's. i have suffered a pretty bad heartbreak, and it feels at the time that you are never going to stop feeling it, but it does get better H xx
ReplyLove u! hope time will wash away your sadness as soon as possible...
Replyxx
littlespicegirl
love u! hope time will wash away all your sadness as soon as possible
Replyxx
littlespicegirl
This post genuinely brought tears to my eyes, it's so relatable for me right now! I hope you're okay and I really appreciate that you put this up! Abi :) myw0rldmyview.blogspot.co.uk
ReplyThank you for writing this. It hits close to home. I went through a break up last week, after almost 3 years of being together and during my first week back at law school. It hurts every day, but, slowly, less and less. I've learned focusing on other things that make me better.. school, working out, and becoming the best "me" I can. We can do this. And it will get better. :)
Replyrememeber...
Replyyou are wonderful, you are <3
you're not alone in this <3
love you <3
You're so strong and beautiful. xx
ReplyWow - what an honest post. Whatever you're going through, you can get through it.
ReplyLizzie's Daily Blog
Amazing post
Replyhttp://doinglifemyway.com
Hope your ok chick. Total cliche but everything does get better in time.
ReplyLauren
livinginaboxx
Sending you big hugs gorgeous lady and you know where I am if you ever need to chat!! This was a beautifully written post!! Lots of love!! <3
ReplyThis was so beautifully written :)
ReplyI know how it feels lovely- You're never quite the same again, but it does get better; you will get better x
ReplyIt takes time, that's all. Just some time. Don't punish yourself by wondering and wishing, try your best to take every day as it comes.
ReplyIt is worst feeling. Monica pls tell me how much time it takes because it's been 5 years and it is still tough for me to handle this
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