Do you remember when I wrote about getting naked on my 25th birthday in order to kick my body confidence issues out the door? ()

Well since then my whole life's flipped upside down. It sparked a fire in my belly. A hunger inside me. To take ownership for who I am, what I've got to give. At the end of the day, it's all me, on my own, fighting fires and rising from the flames.

Alex took my photo's that day and since then I've found a friend - a really, really good friend. She's pushed me forward in life, be-it taking kick-ass photo's for my outfit posts, road trips with sad music, watching films and eating cake or pushing me toward my next challenge - she's been a rock. She believes...in me. And I'll be forever grateful for all that she's done and continues to do. The Universe pushed us together at a time where we were both searching for something more. So thanks for that, world.

A few weekends ago, I was headed down to Cambridge to help Alex out with a shoot. She's been working on a GIANT series, which you can and I couldn't wait to get stuck in on set. Turns out her model was a no-show and Alex looked to me, with those bloody puppy dog eyes and asked if I'd do it instead.
I know I pose for my outfit photos on a weekly basis - but it's not the same as modelling. I was scared and nervous but I didn't want to ruin Alex's day, all the hard work she, her boyfriend, his friends and Claire (an incredible florist) had put in. So I said yes, reluctantly.

It was one of the most incredible afternoons - filled with sunshine and laughter, effort and sweaty bodies. It was amazing to stand back and realise how much all these people cared for Alex, how much they wanted to make it work for her. Her boyfriend Will had built her a 7ft swing, Matthew and Ed (his best friends) helped him put it up high in the trees and Claire, created an incredible floral crown and flower arrangements to climb up the swings ropes. It was totally magical.

Here are the final images...
...I know, she's a true artist.

When we'd finished Alex asked, with a muffled voice and squinting cautious eyes if I'd consider getting naked for a shot or two as well. I think I shocked her and I both by blurting out 'YES! Of course I will!'

To some, getting naked and sharing it on the internet might come across as attention seeking. For me, us, it's about showing the world that we're not afraid of our imperfections. In fact we're going to celebrate the shit out of them. I realised then, at that moment, just how far I've come since July 3rd 2014 when I got naked in-front of another woman for the first time. In the here and now, I didn't care. I felt comfortable, confident even and do you know what? There's no shame in that.
Alex is a wonderful human with an incredible power. She takes magical photographs, that inspire and provoke thoughts, conversations - what a talent to behold. But not only that, she's given women - me, Laura, all the ladies that shot with her off the back of our shoots a one way ticket to true body confidence.

Loving the skin we're in. It's a journey worth taking. A battle worth fighting.

And it's not just about the images at the end, it's about the journey you go on. And there's no photographer in this world that can take away from how special it is completing that experience with Alex.

I know so many of you out there are dabbling with the idea and aren't sure if you're brave enough. Let me tell you that you are. Because if I and all these other amazing women can, so can you.

Today is my birthday - the day I turn 25.

And this second half of the year is where everything changes. There are so many things in my life that I am sat on the fence with - whether it be my career, blog, friendships, relationships or myself I just appear to find it near on impossible to make decisions based on me, because, well, what if it’s the wrong one? Well enough is enough.

Body confidence is something I’ve never had. I remember starting a new school when I was 11 and it was the first time I’d ever had sexuality pressed on me, looking back that seems so young, but these worries are inflicted on us early and from then until now I’ve been a nervous wreck about the way I look. 
There’s no denying I am a small build, to some it might seem a blessing and for the most part I’m grateful for it, but behind closed doors I have to fight to keep weight on and if my appetite slips I face battles with the public and my loved ones about how I look. 

Breasts? What breasts? That’s been my main demon to fight. I’ve been with Daniel for almost 7 years but for the first 6 months of our relationship my bra was firmly on, no touching, nada. I’ve been through a lot lately, none of which I’m ready to share but if one positive thing has come from it, it’s that I’ve learnt I need to love myself before anyone else can. I need to embrace my body, because it’s the only one I’ve got. I need to own the skin I’m in and celebrate what my mumma gave me (even if she was being a little bit stingy ;)). 

So when Laura shared her photos for project I almost died on the spot. She was naked and beautiful and confident.  My second thought (after thinking, good GOD this woman is the bomb) was: envy. Why didn’t I feel like that about myself? Why didn’t my body curve in that way? Why didn’t I look so utterly beautiful in my own skin? Because I hadn’t owned it. Because I hadn’t let myself appreciate those imperfections I’d detested for so long. It was like the universe was screaming out to me, that this isn’t the way it should be. I am beautiful and I am sexy and I am strong and so, when messaged and asked if I’d like to shoot with her, like, get naked and put it on the internet, I said yes. I mean, it wasn’t as simple as that, I fought with myself for weeks about whether it was the right thing to do and the night before was the only time I was 100% sure it was going to happen. But if there was anyone I was going to do it with, it was her. Her work is raw, emotional, you feel it – and that’s art. If I was going to celebrate my body I didn’t want it to be about being obvious, I just wanted to be me, what you see is what you get. 
 

I felt empowered, free and liberated but it wasn’t until Alex sent me the edits through that I felt amazing. Everything I’d ever scrutinised about my body just fell away and it was (or is) quite possibly the best I’ve ever felt. 
Tears prick the back of my eyes as I write this down - anyone who finds themselves battling body confidence will understand the feeling of relief to feel comfortable, confident and beautiful. I am what I am and I’m making it work for me. From this day forward I won’t put my body down. And if I ever feel like it I’ll look at these photos and smile, because why shouldn’t I be proud that I can get butt naked in front of a woman I’ve never met and share the results of it on the internet? 
The wonderful who’s skills are that of a goddess. There are few people in this world who within just a few hours can make you feel like an old friend, someone who simply understands and believes the way you do. That can capture your feelings, your life with the click of a button. She is a force to be reckoned with and I’m so privileged to have worked with her. 

Lastly, myself. Because I’m naked and ‘aint no-one responsible for that but me.

WHAT I WORE: Virgos Lounge Dress. Triangl Isabel Licorice Lingerie Set. Handmade Cream Set.