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Emotions are funny things aren’t they.
A relationship ends for one reason or another and at the time it seems the only viable option. But when you see that man, the one who you gave everything, planning a future with someone who isn’t you - what are you meant to do with that? Suddenly, all the reasons for it ending between you seem to evaporate and all you can see is how you could make them happier, how you could really make it work this time.
All logic is lost in the mist of hurt and jealousy. Comprehending them loving someone, being in love with someone else - surely that’s impossible. Because if you aren’t capable of loving someone else yet, how can they be?
It makes you question what it was that you had, what you’d held in such high esteem. What did that all mean if it doesn’t resonate with them like it does with you? It sparks a new thought process. You’d made your decision, the end had come. But now, now there’s another and it makes you think: ‘would it be best to try again’?
And then sometimes your mind will let you remember: Everything was wrong. The relationship shattered in to tiny little pieces, that just felt too difficult to put back together again. And so you didn’t.
My question is this: How long does it last? This confusion, the constant ache in your chest? How long can we ride the storm without breaking down and losing the parts of ourselves that make us able to fight? How long until you just know the answer - because 'time is a healer' isn't helping.
All I am certain of is that for now, my heart is yours. For you’re the one who taught me how to open it and love with all I had. And there will never be another, like you.
sending ALL THE LOVE your way beautiful <3 xxx
ReplyOh sweetheart. Every time I read your posts I just want to shed a little tear with you, pop my wobbly arms around you & tell you it will be ok. Ask yourself why it can't be put back together, but don't focus too much on the negatives because you don't want to hate that person. In another time you might find your way together, or it might just lead to the man who can make you 110% too. Sending you so so so sooooo much love!
ReplyRebecca xxx
(Aka queenbeady!)
There isn't a set timescale for feeling better at times like these, it just gradually aches a little less until you barely notice it anymore. Just try and ride it out at your own pace, and let yourself be sad if you need to be sad. Trust that perhaps splitting up was the best thing to do, it's called a break up because it was broken, after all. I hope you feel better soon.
ReplyEmma xxx
Sending you my heart Meg. You'd never spoke about your break up as honestly as this before. I hope you're ok. I won't tell you that you'll find another person who is even better because every relationship happens to teach you something new. Sure, he taught you how to love with all your heart. What if he ever existed and the last 7 years never happened? You're going to overcome this one day and look back at this blog post thinking "LOOK AT ME NOW" and I look forward to that day.
ReplyMalia xxx
I love the honesty and realness that comes through every time I read your posts. Sending you all the love in the world.
ReplyBeka. xo
littleworldofbeka
I think sometimes we lose people because we were meant to. They played a role in your life, but that role has now come to an end. There's no denying that it is sad, and heartbreaking. But it's important to remember the good times and acknowledge that life moves on, and you will find another person to fill the void... it's just not the right time just yet.
ReplyThere's no quick fix, and the healing process is different for everyone unfortunately. Take solice in those that love you as much as you love them.
Patience is a virtue, admittedly one i lack, and the best things come to those that deserve it most. Keep your head up, live your life and love those that are still playing their role in your life.
Rach // illustrated-teacup.blogspot.co.uk
Some day your heart will be yours again. It can take years but the ache fades gradually. Remember to cherish and treat yourself everyday xxx
ReplyReading this I feel like you have also got my current feelings pretty much down to a tee. But it is comforting to know there is someone else who has had similar thoughts/feelings, so maybe I'm not going completely cray cray after all.
ReplyIt's knowing what to do, what decisions to make etc that is one of the hardest things- where's the answer book?! It's hard thinking that you almost had it all planned out in your head, as if you knew what path you were on/going to end up and then in an instant that has completely changed and suddenly you're potentially at the beginning of a brand new path. They say everything happens for a reason, or it's fate, but when you never thought something would end up any different it's hard to see what this reason might be I think.
Sending you lots of love, (and if you do find out the answer to how long does it last, then please feel free to let me know!)
Hev xx
My friend went through this exact same thing and she had the exact same thoughts. And I remember that all I could tell her was that 'it will get better, you will find someone better, but for now, focus on you.' Although I don't have first hand experience I can honestly say that it was heartbreaking to see her go through it and I'm so sorry you're in the same position. So I say the same thing to you. Have faith in your strength and I wish you all the happiness.
ReplySaadiya x
|| That Girl; Saadiya ||
One day you'll realise that you taught yourself how to love with your everything and he just happened to be there at the time receiving it. If he didn't want to cherish it forever then he's given you the opportunity to a) give yourself some love and b) find someone who loves you with their everything back. It might take a day, a week, a year, but it will happen and I hope that at the moment it can be your light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel thought.
Replyohhellojo.blogspot.com
It can take a while. I went through an earth shattering breakup almost 5 years ago now, it took me one long year to stop hurting but a couple to move on,& now I'm engaged to the man I was supposed to end up with - but it couldn't have happened without what I went through before. It hurts like hell now but you WILL feel better. Keep on keeping on xxxx
ReplyI've known this feeling for almost two years and it's f*cking hard. Trying to move on from someone you love is one aspect of life I do not like one little bit X
ReplyTHEFASHION-JUNKIE
I just wrote a comment and it didn't publish :(
ReplyI'm sorry you're going through this, but remember that being sad is just as normal and healthy as being happy - there's no timescale, so spend time being sad if it's what you need. Just don't let it dictate or take over you. As hard as break-ups are, they happen for a reason. Whether that be that you're not right for each other right now, or full stop, there will be a time soon when you're stronger and happier and you will realise that this hard time has taught you so much. Surround yourself with lovely things and people, because that's what you deserve, and soon you'll be able to look back on this as a lesson and even be thankful it happened. It will open up new opportunities for you, and that's exciting to think about - whoever/whatever it may be :) chin up lady, we've got your back
I love Maya Angelou's quotations. Time is all you need. Keep trudging on - even if it's hard.
ReplyLizzie Dripping
As a person who has been through breakup and has many friends doing the same we feel your pain and know the drill. Almost certainly you will feel so sad for a while, then you will paint yor face on and get out there. Almost enjoy being able to be selfish after so long of giving, do all the fabulous things then before you know it you are happy ( and fabulous), and everyone wants to be with you... You meet some one equally fabulous and your heart will open again x
ReplyHi, I haven't commented before but I feel your pain. When I went through a break up the year before last I thought I wouldn't ever feel whole again. It wasn't the sadness that was tough, I got bad anxiety from it all - its the waking up and panicking when you realise what's happened and feel completely alone. I know everyone says time heals things and that is true in the most part but with a relationship that was as long as yours, its inevitably going to take longer. Some say it takes half as long as the relationship lasted. I remember sitting in a restaurant and thinking..out of everyone in the whole world all I want is for him to walk through those doors. You run all the details through your head a million times, you think oh I was so ungrateful for all those things he did. Well it does get better, alot better. It's not easy but you have look at it differently - not a dramatic parting between two people but more of a chapter of your life that he isn't in. The ache stayed with me for about a year but all through it I realised how much people cared and how you can still have so much fun - and before you knew it I started thinking of him less and less.There are so many fascinating lovely people in the world to focus on. I know you will be okay, you're an amazing person :) Much love x
ReplyThere's no quick fix, no words to make it better and in some cases I don't even think time is a healer. It's an awful situation. But, what you will find is what your brain already started doing, reminding you of why it happened. Around this time self importance kicks in and you start thinking about yourself and for yourself. It's about forgetting about them, as that relationship meant something, it opened your heart, your mind and many lessons have been learned. Where they may decide to start again, spend this time enjoying yourself. Do things that you maybe couldn't before, write a bucket list.
ReplyI always think back to past relationships and one in particular bugged me for years as I just didn't understand why. But, when you finally meet that right person, it wont matter anymore and you'll see that it maybe wasn't you, it was them.
Hugs to you Meg, I've said it before and I'll say it again.. You're a beautiful person inside and out, I'd love to have the pleasure to know you personally. You're stronger than you think. Just believe in yourself.
Caroline.x
notesfromcaroline.com
You'll always hear, time is a healer, and at that moment of intense heartache you really hate hearing that but its all true. I've had 2 relationships that if I'm honest have taken me a very long time to really get over-...the point is eventually it will just get better, days, weeks, months, years. In the end the fog clears and the emotions fade. You forget the feelings and just see the black and white picture. Now those 2 relationships feel like a lifetime ago, someone that wasn't even me.. You just have to carry on, keep your chin high and eventually you'll find someone else that will make that person you ache for now look tiny and insignificant..
ReplyThe best healer for me was writing, I wrote tons of letters that I never sent, I have a few now that I read and think , did I ever actually feel like that? Get your emotions down on paper, its such a release
hope you feel better soon
Meg x
Sometimes good things fall apart, so better things can fall together'
ReplyIt will get better, give yourself time.
This is so beautifully written x
Meg,
ReplyI've not commented before but have read your blog for years, you really are one very inspirational lady. My heart aches for you going through such a time of pain and uncertainty, I for one have been in this situation once before & my god, the heart wrenching pain you feel is not comparable to any other I've felt before, I do not want to cross it's path again. Yet I know that knowing other people have been through this and survived is little comfort, I feel it's the only real thing that you can hold on to. You will survive. You will be a stronger, more independent, more self aware and comfortable woman, there is no time to put to this, but just know it will be. There is no rhyme or reason as to why we have to endure this pain, but I for one know that I have survived and I am capable of a much deeper love I didn't think possible before, just as you will be. Now, spend this time you have piecing that heart together, you deserve to love yourself and you cannot possibly do that with a heart in a thousand pieces. Spend this time not trying to get over him or rid yourself of the dull ache, but spend it admiring and loving yourself for what you have endured and achieved already. Think of the possibilities your future holds :)
Much Love!
Jade x
Such a beautiful quote from Maya Angelou, and such a beautiful piece of writing from you. I think so many people will be able to relate to this. I know its cliché but time is a true healer and I wish you the best and all the happiness!
ReplyAmanda / Amanda's Escape
Oh darling once again you have struck a chord with me with your beautiful words. I know exactly how you feel, I was in the same position before and say feeling just as broken/sad about it all. Everything goes through your head, I even started making this plan to make things better again but ultimately you have to rember all the awful times when you were together. It will take time but like I did you will find another, the world will make sense again and you will love this person even more than you have before. Stay strong, you are an inspiration and watching some of your videos have really helped me!
ReplyLots of love Collette xxx
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